vickyfoxx | Hey guys! Today I wanna share some thoughts about a very important day for me - my birthday🎂 The closer it comes the more anxious I become. I reflect on everything I've done, things that've happened to me and what I've been through. I came to Serbia just a day before my birthday year ago, so I'm trying to sum up not only another year of my life, but also a year as an immigrant. During this year I've lost more than half of my income, old friendships, old vision of myself and of my value. Till recent days I thought my value depends on how much money I make, though it didn't really matter how much I was making - it was always not enough, but I didn't see it. I was always thinking: "There there, I almost have enough, I just need to try harder, soon I'll be happy". And I never was. I gave up all my hobbies to have more time to make money. I became obsessive about it. I used lack of support or any back up to make up my mindset that I'm alone. Loneliness is a bitch, it gave me false perspective that I need to do whatever it takes to control of external circumstances. And soon, faster and faster, I was starting to make less and less. It was like a slap from the universe - look and see, I won't give you what you want just so you could continue to live in these fantasies longer. If you continue to live like that, you'll be fucked. Well, the message is finally received. I'm 100% sure if my income wasn't damaged, I'd be the same Vicky. Vicky who doesn't see that she's miserable not because she doesn't have enough money, but because she betrayed herself for it. She was never enough, always looking for external confirmation she's good. Shit that's so fucked up. I'm so angry at myself for that. I remember Vicky who was living with her parents and dreaming about the day when she will be living on her own and have her own money to spend it the ways she wants. And what happened? To be continued down in the comments🥰 | Fansly