Published: September 15th 2025, 6:00:20 pm
I know exactly what you’re really looking for:
🔺Belonging to a Domme who naturally takes charge over you;
🔺Feeling that your role actually matters in the dynamic.
🔺Dynamic where pushing limits is negotiated, not coerced;
🔺Real Domme's feedback and attention;
🔺Relief from the pressure of always being strong;
🔺The thrill of slow build, not fast release;
🔺In the end, a safe space to be vulnerable.
But from your stories, instead, you’ve been getting:
🔻your limits ignored or mocked
🔻“send me for coffee or I’ll block you”
🔻cliché humiliation without consent
🔻fake domination that just plays to your fantasies
🔻dynamics that make you feel used in the worst way, not the way you crave
This is NOT femdom.
It’s disappointing this happened to you, and even worse, it corrupts the reputation of online femdom itself, turning it into something it was never meant to be.
When I first started, I thought being harsh = being in power
I’m glad I’ve grown enough to rethink that and understand what real female power is about.
And now I can say:
ab-uze and domination are not the same thing.
I believe the real power of a Domme is creating a space where surrender feels both "dangerous" and safe,
I mean a balance of sadism, care, and control that lets a man break his masks without breaking himself.
Also I know some of you are turned on by cruel, dismissive behavior from a Domme, and I don’t judge you for it,
But I need you to understand -
it’s a low-quality, unsafe experience for your psyche. Here’s why:
1. You get used to the image of the “greedy, cynical, man-hating” Domme. After a few Women like that, any NORMAL domination starts to feel "not arousing" , “not REAL”, when in fact it’s the ONLY real thing.
2. Shaming a sub for his dick size, emasculation, shit treating, comparing to “alpha men”, not ethical findom - all those clichés only repeat the same painful social scripts where male vulnerability = shame. Your role as a sub doesn't give you any relief in this case.
3. You start confusing humiliation with submission, and that’s how you lose your grounding. It can seriously harm your life and pull you into a self-destruction loop.
And tell me, men-subs :
❓What’s the point of D/s for you, if instead of shedding your social masks, it just reinforces them?
❓What’s the point of trusting a Domme if, instead of a safe space, you get the SAME patriarchal pressure and judgment you already get in real life?
No wonder after experiences like this you’re left with guilt and emptiness, femdom feels dirty and taboo, and you just want to quit...only to end up in another painful relapse.
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Leave the 💙 if you relate, and in My next post I’ll tell you what real submission can actually give you.