Published: July 6th 2025, 11:33:34 pm
Some thoughts out loud after posting a new confession video. Honestly, I really tried to live without sex clubs. For almost 2 years, I was trying to think that I didn’t need it anymore. That it was in the past and now since I decided to be a great wife, I need to be calm and live quietly.
I know how ridiculous it might sound, but I still sometimes think this way.
Anyways, for a while… it kinda worked. At first, it was a bit hard because I was just thinking about old memories and replaying them in my head. You know how much I love attention and adventures.
But slowly I stopped checking event dates. Stopped craving it. It just became this thing I used to do- past life stuff
And then… when I just went back to my hometown, to my home country, I decided to go once. Of course I didn’t tell my husband anything. We were just fantasizing about it, about going there together, but every time it was ending there. He always says that we are living in a small town and he doesn’t want to see someone there.
So I went again. the timing worked out, I felt curious. I told myself it’s not a big deal!
But now I feel that switch flip again.
And that’s kinda scary. Because in a couple of weeks, I’m gonna be home to him in my usual life, and I’m afraid I will be finding it hard to live it the same way. Do you get what I’m trynna say?
Like I woke something up that doesn’t want to go back to sleep.
And I think it’s not even about the sex itself but just how I feel there, wanted, a little wild and I miss this version of myself sometimes.
And again, I’m scared. I’ll start craving it again, and that this restless energy will find its way out.
And at the same time,, I really miss my husband, I miss that lovely life I’m having. My usual routine, our movie nights and just the way he makes me laugh.
Is it how adulting looks like? You have your previous life, you have your new life . you’re compromising and trying to find balance?
I’m really happy you’re reading it and I’m sharing it all with you. Thank you so much for your time, and I would love to hear your opinion or a story ❤️